You and Me Always
by Emma Jay Bentley
Summary: Following on with the lives of Maddie Madison and Casey Novak with a few bumps along the way.
1. Chapter 1

You and me always

It's been over 2 years but the muse is starting to return, sincere apologies if my writing is a bit rusty.

Continuing with the adventures of Maddie and Casey.

Chapter 1

Weddings were meant to be easy, or at least that's what Maddie Madison always thought. She remembered her father's wedding, standing there in the frilly dress that her stepmother allowed her to change out of the moment the last photograph had been taken, there was nothing complicated about that day, the only real problem had been getting Maddie into the awful dress in the first place. And then came her brother's wedding, again as far as Maddie saw it was simple, the two families coming together to celebrate the special occasion, this time without the frilly dress as Mitchell had been wise enough to instruct his future wife to let his sister pick her own dress. Friends of Maddie had gotten married without any fuss at all, some eloping, some going to Vegas, others having massive parade like days without any fuss whatsoever. Which is why when sat trying to organise her own wedding Maddie was seriously considering murdering the wedding planner that her beloved had decided to consult, things just kept on getting complicated and Maddie was willing to bet her badge on the fact that it would keep getting more expensive the more complicated it got.

"You said and I quote, 'money isn't an issue.'" Casey said angrily walking out of the planners office half an hour later and hailing a cab. Raising her hands to the sky in disbelief Maddie sighed before getting into the now pulled up cab beside Casey.

"Yeah I did, but what I didn't realise was that you'd take that literally and start planning something that Elton John would consider too sparkly." Maddie hissed pulling her phone out of her pocket as she felt it start to vibrate. Casey went to argue back but Maddie held up a finger to stop her making the red head even more furious. "Madison ... Ok I'll meet you there...Driver could you stop here please?" Maddie asked before turning to Casey as the cab stopped. "We can finish this later and you can go mental at me all you want, but right now I've a case so will see you at home." Pecking Casey on the cheek Maddie got out of the cab and began jogging down the street away from the now seething attorney.

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"That bad?" Olivia asked spotting Maddie's expression as she arrived at the scene of their latest case.

"Not helped by me finally speaking my mind, shushing her and then running out of the cab." Alex admitted to Olivia's amusement, she knew Casey would be somewhere between apoplectic and furious right about now. "So, what do we have?" Olivia filled her in on the details as they entered the building where the attack had taken place, the state of the room making both women feel ill.

"I'm going to see what I can get from the vic at the hospital." Olivia said not wanting to stay in the room a moment longer than she had to.

"I'll help sort this place out, best call Casey to tell her to save the rant for the morning." Maddie replied dryly.

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Casey was fuming when she got home from the office that evening, lunch with the wedding planner had been a disaster with Maddie complaining about the cost of everything, and then she shushed her before abandoning her uptown to go work on a case. Whilst she completely understood the nature of her other halves work she didn't necessarily like it, and right now she downright hated it as she couldn't vent her anger out on anything except the batting cages.

On her way to the cages her phone beeped, Maddie was telling her she was going to be late and to not wait up, it was a bad one. The words did nothing to help calm Casey down and knocking some balls into next week didn't make any difference either. Going home she sank into a hot bath with a large glass of wine and made an early night of being home alone, the wine and exercise making her sleep soundly until she was woken up by Maddie.

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5:47am, once upon a time Maddie would have said creeping in at that time in the morning meant the night before had been a good one, not so much anymore, now she was dreading the reaction she was going to get. Finishing up at the scene had taken ages, there was so much mess, then she'd gone to the hospital to help Olivia finish up before the pair of them had wound up in interrogation with their lead suspect just after midnight, and a confession in full coming through at 1am. The case had been an open and shut one but the mess had really gotten to the two women, Maddie simply couldn't clear her head of the images, neither could Olivia as the two of them sat there writing up the paperwork. Tears of frustration began to fall down Olivia's cheeks as she closed the case file and looked up at Maddie who was sat watching her.

"I can't look at this anymore." Olivia sighed, "I need to get out of here". She added pushing her chair away from her desk and standing up.

"Ok, what do you want to do?" Maddie said mirroring Olivia's position. Olivia threw her a puzzled look before Maddie told her she wasn't going off anywhere alone at that hour.

"Just escape. Get away from here for a few hours, be normal." Olivia replied.

"At 3am?" Maddie asked and Olivia nodded. "Ok, grab your coat." Maddie answered.

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	2. Chapter 2

You and me always

Chapter 2

They'd ended up wandering around the city, watching life move on around them, grabbing a coffee from a 24 hour cafe to keep them warm as they just walked, not saying a single word as the plodded on side by side until a clock somewhere around them chimed for 5am and the sunrise began to appear on the horizon. That is what Maddie had kept them going for, a New York sunrise, to her it was something normal, something automatic that happened no matter how horrible things were.

"Sometimes it's just normal to watch the day come in, knowing that it's a chance to start afresh. Or a chance to go home, sleep, recharge and then come back into the office at lunchtime." Maddie smiled watching Olivia yawn. "But the point I'm attempting to make here Liv is that the world keeps turning, and every time we bust a perp or make some kid safe again we're helping to make the world go around, we're making the difference and no matter what we've got to hang onto that, even if we only make a difference to one person the important thing is to keep on trying."

"Ok, message received," She yawned again saying she should go home, "you off home too?" Olivia asked knowing that her friend was going home to a hostile environment.

"Brave it now so she can get the rant over with before she goes to work, it'll spare some intern a rocket up their backside." She smiled and Olivia laughed. Although at that moment it didn't sound like it Maddie truly loved Casey deeply and would do anything for her, the wedding was just bringing out the worst in both of them, even after nearly 2 years of getting the plans moving forward they still weren't sorted.

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The bed dipping under Maddie's weight was what woke her; looking at her clock before turning to the detective she couldn't believe the time.

"What the hell time is this?" Casey asked sitting up as Maddie laid down placing her head on her pillow.

"I told you it was going to be a late one." Maddie replied with a yawn.

"Late is midnight, what this is is today." Casey sighed shaking her head, "what the hell took so long?" Casey turned the light on so she could look at Maddie, she looked exhausted but that didn't bother Casey, seeing Maddie again brought back the anger from the previous lunchtime.

"It was a tough case, Olivia needed a friend so we walked for a bit and then I came home." Maddie replied sitting up.

"So instead of coming home to me you went out with Olivia, which means in the last 24 hours you've snapped at me, shushed me, walked out on me and left me alone whilst you were out cavorting with someone else." Casey's voice was getting louder as she went on. Maddie rubbed her hands across her face before turning to Casey.

"Honey I'm sorry but firstly you know what work get's like, secondly we were both struggling and I couldn't exactly leave her on her own, thirdly it was only 2 hours, fourthly I didn't walk out on you I had to go to work, fifth." Casey interrupted telling her to stop talking as she didn't want to hear it as she got out of bed, Maddie followed. "What don't you want to hear? That I still think this whole wedding planner idea is stupid? That I don't think we need to be spending so much money on it?"

Casey turned around angrily; there was fire in her eyes as she spoke harshly. "All I'm hearing is that right now you don't want to get married, that the thought of creating a special day for us annoys and irritates you." Maddie rolled her eyes at the stupidity of the comment.

"Then I suggest you get your hearing checked, all I did was question whether or not everything needed to be so expensive." Cautiously she walked over to Casey and grabbed her hand; however the attorney pulled it away.

"Why can't you just admit you can't commit? It's taken this long to get anywhere near to arranging a date and all of a sudden you freak out the minute we're close to setting the date in stone." Casey snapped as her phone started to ring, leaving Maddie in the kitchen she went to answer the phone, on her return she said she'd speak to her later.

"I'm babysitting for the twins; I told dad I'd do it a month ago." Maddie shook her head and Casey sighed.

"Just face it you don't want to get married so let's stop bothering with it all." Casey said sadly to Maddie's frustration.

"That's pure rubbish Casey and you know it, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you but you don't seem to understand that you don't need to break the bank to do it." Maddie snapped.

"Well in that case let's call the whole thing off and save you the trouble of having to spend some money." Casey shot back grabbing her bag and heading out of the door. As she went Maddie let out a frustrated moan and stormed off to the bedroom throwing herself on top of the covers.

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	3. Chapter 3

You and me always

Chapter 3

Olivia wasn't surprised to get a call from Casey to meet her for lunch, she'd been worried about the reaction Maddie would have got when she went home, and Casey didn't look happy when she took her seat at the table. Although Casey's anger dissipated a little when she spotted how drawn Olivia looked.

"No offence but you look like I feel." Casey sighed picking up the menu although she already knew what she was going to have.

"Yesterday was intense; I think I was ready to break before Maddie stepped in." Olivia thought she'd decide to play peacemaker. "I needed to calm down and she understood. Sorry I kept her out so late." Casey nodded in understanding, she sometimes forgot the traumas SVU faced and began to regret losing it so much with Maddie, although her anger at the wedding still remained.

"It's ok, I understand, but what I don't get is her reaction to the whole wedding thing, freaking out at the cost and being reluctant to set a date." Casey admitted, "And she won't talk about it, and I'm always trying to speak with her about it." Olivia thought for a moment before responding, reminding her that she knew Maddie was a tough one to get through too and badgering her wouldn't help things at all. "But there's something she's not sharing with me and I don't like it one bit." Casey frowned.

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Tara opened the door to Casey that evening and let her in telling her that Maddie was making tea before the youngster ran upstairs.

"Tara who was it?" Maddie asked walking into the hallway, stopping as she spotted Casey stood there. "You come to tell me again that the wedding's off? To rubbish me for not wanting to blow all our savings in one go? To tell me you want my ring back? How about to tell me not to be there for a friend in need?" Maddie stood there defensively waiting for Casey to talk. She waited a moment before turning and heading to the kitchen, footsteps told her Casey was right behind her. Casey took a seat as Maddie returned to cooking tea for her siblings.

"I just don't understand what's going on, I know I over reacted but something isn't right. All I'm seeing is you refusing to commit to anything and not giving me any clue as to why. We both know money isn't really an issue and if something wasn't the matter you wouldn't care about the cost." Casey said speaking calmly. "You're the one who took us off on a 5 star luxury holiday 6 months ago; one that I know cost a small fortune. So what is going on? What are you scared of?" Maddie turned around telling Casey she wasn't scared but Casey didn't believe her. Casey stood there looking into Maddie's eyes willing her to respond, instead Henry piped up from the doorway.

"Maybe she thinks you'll run away again." The youngster piped up before running off with a laugh. Maddie was torn between chasing him and staying put, she started to move as Casey sat down in realisation that the boy was right.

"I should have known," Casey muttered, "it makes perfect sense, you're scared I'll run away again." She looked at Maddie, her face revealing that Henry had been right. Maddie sank back into the kitchen worktop with a sigh.

"Do you blame me?" Maddie asked, "It crucified me when you left, and even though you've more than proven how much you love me maybe there's still some doubt buried there somewhere." She walked over to Casey and knelt down in front of her, placing a hand on her knee and looking her in the eye. "I love you so much that the thought of being without you breaks my heart, and in my head somewhere I'm worried. You see people I love leave." Sad eyes looked up at Casey and served to eradicate some of the anger that she was feeling, Casey knew the younger woman was thinking of her mother, then Alex (even though she'd eventually come back to life), and finally Casey leaving her.

"Then tell me what I need to do to prove to you I'm not going anywhere unless you're there with me?" Casey asked grabbing hold of Maddie's hand and pulling her up to sit on her knee. "And you need to start talking to me because I'm here to stay."

"I know that in my heart but there's this crazy part in my head that's driving me insane thinking different, and only I can sort it out." Maddie admitted wrapping an arm around Casey. As they started to relax the smoke alarm went off signalling that the twins dinner was well and truly ready.

"Pizza?" Casey asked laughing as Maddie tried to clear the room of smoke.

"Pizza." Maddie replied.

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It was after 11 when the pair finally returned to their apartment, the rest of the evening had been busy with the twins and trying to clear the smoke from the kitchen of the Madison house.

"As much as we may dread this we need to come to some sort of conclusion following this evening's revelation." Maddie said going to the cupboard and pulling out a bottle of whiskey and pouring each of them a glass as Casey threw off her shoes and slumped down on the sofa.

"I know what I want and how I feel," Casey said. "I promise you with every beat of my heart that I am not going to go anywhere unless it's with you." She took a sip of her drink as Maddie handed it to her and sat down on the coffee table in front of Casey. "Do you think your heart can win over your head?" Maddie shrugged her shoulders placing her empty glass down on the table beside her.

"I guess I'm more messed up than we realised." Maddie offered as a smile and Casey shot up saying it wasn't a laughing matter. "Then I don't know Casey, I know how I feel and what I want but I can't help the insecurities that I have, no more than you can help worrying when I'm on duty."

"Then I think we take a step back for a bit, let the wedding plans fall to one side until we get this sorted, speak to a councillor or something." Casey suggested, her anxieties easing as Maddie nodded in agreement tears falling down her face.

"I'm sorry." Maddie sobbed as Casey knelt down wrapping her arms around the crying brunette, wondering how long it was going to take for them to overcome this obstacle.

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	4. Chapter 4

You and me always

Chapter 4

Waking to the sound of Casey's gentle snore made Maddie smile but it didn't really make her feel any better. She felt guilty for them putting the wedding plans on hold but she couldn't help how she was feeling, she considered calling in a councillor to help her work through her issues, in the end she settled on her cousin and best friend. Quietly getting up she left a note on her pillow telling Casey she was going to meet Alex and would call her later, then heading out she called her cousin to make sure she'd be available.

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"Honey you should have spoken to me sooner." Alex sighed placing a steaming cup of coffee in front of her younger cousin, the moment she'd arrived Maddie had told her everything that was going on.

"I just didn't really know until Henry blurted it out last night." She admitted, inwardly thinking she ought to have a discussion with her little brother on his timing. "We've put the wedding on hold until I can work it all out. I just hope I can, and I hope I don't lose her because of it." That was her new fear, she was terrified that Casey wouldn't wait for long and leave her again.

"You've worked through a lot together, especially after she came back and you got engaged, she wouldn't have done it unless she wasn't planning on sticking around." Alex said trying to reassure the younger woman. "You only have to look at her to see how much she wants to be with you."

"But what if my problems stop her from wanting to be with me?" Maddie asked dejectedly.

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"And we'd still be in the dark fighting had Henry not shouted it out before the dinner burnt." Casey exasperatedly said to Olivia as they met for breakfast. She thought that if Maddie was talking it out then she should do the same. "I don't know what I can do to make her realise I'm not going anywhere." Olivia had no suggestions for her friend; it was something that Maddie needed to work through on her own, anyone pushing her would make things 10 times worse.

"Give her time, she loves you so much, she just needs to sort her head out." Olivia offered as words of comfort.

"Last time she did that she ran off to the middle of nowhere after attempting to drink herself into oblivion." Casey sighed. "Last time I ran off she worked herself into the ground trying to sort herself out and get past it." She took a breath. "When I was younger I used to think that love was simple, you met someone, fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after, in reality it's nothing like that at all, we've been circling for years now, never actually managing to take the final step. And I'm now wondering if we're ever going to."

"So what does that mean?" Olivia asked worriedly as she didn't like the attorney's tone.

"That right now I'm not 100% sure we should get married." Casey admitted. "I think we need a break."

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Following her meeting with Casey Olivia watched Maddie closely throughout the day, she seemed as bad as Casey, there was no spring in her step and it was obvious that something big was weighing on her mind.

"You ok?" Olivia asked walking up to where Maddie was stood reading through a case file; Maddie shrugged her shoulders saying she really didn't know. "I spoke to Casey earlier." Maddie nodded unsurprised that Casey had spoken with the older woman. "It's clear you're both hurting and unhappy, you need to work out how to figure it out, because if you don't you'll lose one another." Olivia said intending it to come out as harshly as it had done; she knew the detective and the attorney were perfect for one another.

"Don't you think I don't realise that? Liv I'm trying to work through this, and I tried to keep my mouth shut, but I can't help this anymore than she could help running out on me. And is it that wrong that I'm worried about it? I mean I got up and went to work, by the time I returned home she'd gone, and yes whilst I know deep down she loves me there's still that fear, and I feel guilty for having this fear." Maddie replied. "People I love leave me, that's been a fact throughout my life."

"If that's how you feel then I don't know what more there is to say." Casey announced coming up from behind them, she looked furious, she'd only called in to the office to make plans for dinner. Maddie went to respond but her phone rang, despite the fire in Casey's eyes Maddie answered it anyway knowing it could be something important, and also she was on duty.

"Madison." She said her eyes not leaving Casey's. "What? ... When? ... Is?" She broke eye contact taking a few steps away. She returned to the two older women with tears in her eyes. "I've got to go, Cassie's been in an accident, I've got to go." She said in a somewhat dazed state.

All of a sudden the fire in Casey's eyes evaporated, "Sweetie hold on a second." Casey placed a comforting hand on her beloved's shoulder; she knew how much Cassie meant to Maddie, the pair had been close since they started high school. "Tell me what's happened?"

"An accident, on... on the ranch, she's in hospital, I ... I have to go...I need to speak to Cragen." She replied in a daze as she went to find the Captain. Olivia couldn't help but think that they'd be getting the break Casey had spoken of that morning at breakfast.

5 minutes later Maddie was back with them still appearing to be in some sort of a daze, Cragen had agreed to her having some time off to go be with her friend. "I don't know how long I'll be but I'll call you," Maddie sighed with a sad smile to Casey. "I love you, remember that." Giving the attorney a soft kiss the detective then turned to Olivia telling her she'd see her soon before running off out of the precinct as fast as she could.

"Well I didn't expect that." Casey sighed taking a seat at Maddie's desk, her eyes coming to rest on a photo of the pair of them happy and smiling together, she really hoped they could find their way back to that.

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	5. Chapter 5

You and me always

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Chapter 5

It felt to Maddie like it took forever to get to Texas and to the hospital where her friend was. Greeting Cassie's uncle with a big hug she was informed that her friend was in a bad way, it looked unlikely that she would pull through. Someone had shot a gun; the horse she'd been on had been startled causing it to throw her off and then trample on her. She'd suffered extensive damage to the skull, and numerous internal injuries, the only thing keeping her going was the life support machine.

"She's always been great with horses, managed to get me on one even and I was absolutely terrified." Maddie smiled and her uncle nodded, saying he'd called her because she was Maddie's best friend and knew she'd want her to be there. "After the trial she was there for me, helped me to get my head straight." She'd ran off there to get herself sorted out after being cleared by the Army, with Cassie, and also her cousin Alex she could just be herself, with no pressure at all. "She'll be ok, she has to be." Maddie said, more for her own sake than for the man beside her.

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"Any news?" Casey asked Alex two days later when they passed one another in the court house, she'd hardly heard from Maddie since she'd gone, she knew she was ok and her friend was but that's it, she didn't really know the story of the two women.

"Just that they're thinking about turning the life support machine off," Alex replied feeling guilty because she knew more than her cousin's fiancée. "It's hit her hard, they were thick as thieves through high school, stayed in contact all the way through college and everything else they've been through." Casey nodded in silent understanding, she judged from Maddie's reaction to the news of the accident that it would hit her in a bad way. "I think she could do with you calling her, to let her know you're thinking of her." Alex suggested and Casey shrugged her shoulders, unsure as to whether or not Maddie would want to hear from her at all. "Trust me Casey, she needs you more than she realises, and you need her too." Alex added before rushing off.

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3am in the morning Maddie stood with Cassie's uncle as the life support machine was turned off, holding Cassie's hand as the beeping slowly faded and the lines flattened out. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she said goodbye to her friend, placing a gentle kiss atop her head.

"Sweet dreams, give my mum a hug for me and tell her I love her." Maddie wiped away a tear. "And give my love to your parents, I'll miss you." Sitting down in the chair before she was overcome with grief as the grieving uncle also said his goodbyes.

"She's with her parents now, at peace." He said also kissing her before leading the way for him and Maddie out of the room allowing the medical teams to take care of her.

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Casey wasn't impressed being woken up by the phone ringing; initially she'd rolled over telling Maddie to answer it but then remembered that Maddie wasn't there. It was 4:02am, and she was ready to yell at whoever was calling her as they weren't speaking, all she heard was unsteady breathing. She was about to put the phone down when she recognised something in the breathing.

"Maddie?" She asked feeling much more awake, there was a sniff before Maddie replied saying it was her. "Honey what's wrong?" Casey asked worriedly.

"We turned the life support off an hour ago," Maddie sobbed through short breaths. "That's it, she's gone."

"Oh Honey, I'm so sorry, I know how much she meant to you." Casey said and she actually meant it, she knew losing her friend would crush her; she couldn't begin to imagine how Maddie was feeling.

"I just ... I feel ... I don't know." Maddie sniffed. "I just don't know how I feel anymore." She sighed. "I've lost friends before, when I was in the Army, but over there you expected it in a strange way, it was one of the risks of the job." This was the first time Casey had ever heard Maddie really speak about her time in the Army, Casey just wished she was there at her side holding her hand and offering comfort. "Grown men crying over the thought of never coming home again, and the excitement when they were told they could go home." Maddie paused. "I just never expected my friend with a farm would be the one to go before me." Maddie had faced life threatening situations in the Army and had almost failed to make it home once before; she'd been prepared for the worst in her own life but not for those around her.

"I'm here for you," Casey said softly, "what do you need?" At that moment she was ready to move heaven and earth to make Maddie feel better.

"To stop losing the people I love." Sobbed Maddie.

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Alex told Olivia that Maddie's friend had died during the night. Olivia was saddened and worried about her colleague; she knew it would devastate the younger detective.

"I'll call her later, but if you speak to her before me give her my love." Olivia replied and Alex nodded saying she would.

"Uncle Geoff's flying out to be with her for the funeral, Mitchell was going to but Mona's due to drop anytime soon. I'm hoping to get out there too, Maddie's going to need as much support as she can get." Olivia nodded glad that Maddie wasn't going to be on her own, she didn't mention Casey, the redheaded attorney was nowhere to be seen, Olivia wondered what was going on, she just hoped Casey pulled it together to be there for Maddie.

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Casey looked around as she got out of the cab; unsure as to where to go exactly she headed up the steps onto the front porch. The place looked exactly as she'd expected it to, it had a rustic charm and straight away she knew why Maddie loved it. She was about to knock on the door when she heard her name being called from behind her.

"Casey?" Maddie asked and Casey turned around, Maddie came jogging towards her and Casey dropped her bag to go and meet her, wrapping her arms tightly around her and allowing Maddie to break down. "You came." Maddie sobbed allowing Casey to take her weight "I didn't ask."

"You didn't need too." Casey said softly placing a kiss atop Maddie's head. "I told you when I proposed that I wasn't going anywhere, that I was going to be here for you no matter what." Casey replied. "You called me Maddie, not anyone else at 4am this morning, that matters. You called me needing someone, and I came. I'll always come."

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	6. Chapter 6

You and me always

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Chapter 6

Casey looked around the large house Maddie had led her into, there were a few pictures of Maddie with the woman she knew to be Cassie, there were a few similar pictures in their apartment. Maddie led the way upstairs to the room she was staying in so Casey could freshen up.

"I've got to go feed the horses," Maddie said, her eyes were still full of tears but she needed to get back on with being busy. "Bathrooms first door on the right, a few of the hands are around and Cassie's uncle Jack will be here in a bit," She sighed. "We've got to sort out the funeral."

"I'll come help you with the horses." Casey said standing up from where she'd sat on the bed, Maddie nodded glad of the company but suggested Casey change first as it was muddy.

"I'll be in the blue barn, come find me when you're ready." Maddie finished placing a kiss on Casey's cheek before hurrying off downstairs.

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Casey couldn't help but smile as she walked into the barn hearing Maddie talking away to a very large stallion; she watched Maddie's gentleness with the animal as she rubbed it before giving it some feed from her hand. Maddie's nature reminding her of all the wonderful qualities the mourning detective had, her heart, gentleness and intelligence were what had drawn her to her in the first place all those years ago. Momentarily Casey thought back to the case that had drawn them together, Maddie having to go to Boston for statements and the resulting peacemaking pizza, the promise of a rain check that was eventually cashed in after Maddie had come to the ranch to help herself heal.

"They're beautiful." Casey said as Maddie stepped away from the stallion and went to move towards the next horse.

"Cassie's father started a breeding programme, she kept it up, I think Jack will too." Maddie replied as Casey asked what was likely to happen to the place. "Hopefully Jack won't sell it but he's got a business to run in town. First priority though is to give her the send off she deserves. Which reminds me she'll want me to be in military uniform, I'll call Dad and ask him to bring it when he comes." Maddie rambled and Casey nodded trying to recall if she'd ever seen Maddie in her Army uniform in real life rather than a picture, she hadn't, she'd only ever seen Maddie in NYPD uniform.

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Jack was like Casey had imagined Cassie to be, it was clear the death of his niece had devastated him but Maddie had been a good source of support for him.

"So that's it all sorted," Jack said as the funeral director left the property, Casey had remained with them through the preparations, she'd been surprised when at one point Maddie reached out and took hold of her hand, she hadn't let go either.

"Dad's going to come out, he'll bring my uniform." Maddie added and Jack nodded, "I need to call the 1-6 to tell them my plans for coming back, I'll owe dozens of favours when I get back for them covering."

"They'll understand." Casey replied earnestly, she knew they were understanding over there and thought a lot of Maddie.

"I'll get things sorted here ASAP, Cassie has a good team, it'll be a shame to let the place go. I think maybe some sort of manager?" Jack asked and Maddie nodded.

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Casey emerged from the shower to find Maddie sat outside on the porch with a bottle of beer, she'd called Cragen and negotiated another week off to get through the funeral, the payback was the 5 weekends in a row she'd have to be on call for.

"All squared away with the 1-6," Maddie said as Casey sat down next to her, "I'm on call for 5 weekends in a row and get the last minute cases 3 weekdays for a month, but I get next week as paid leave so it's a fair deal." Maddie added, but she knew the others wouldn't be so harsh when she was actually there. "When do you have to go back?"

"Friday." Casey replied and Maddie nodded saying she was planning on flying back then also.

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"So she's out there with her?" Olivia asked shocked and Alex nodded in response explaining that Casey had called into work and headed straight for Maddie. "So the break isn't the type of break we were fearing it to be?"

"Hopefully, I mean she's just gone straight to her to be there for her, hopefully she'll stay there." Alex replied before filling Olivia in on the funeral details she was aware of.

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Casey watched with a mixture of interest and admiration as Maddie threw herself into keeping the farm going in the days leading up to the funeral. Casey knew Maddie was a jack of all trades but didn't realise the extent to which that was true, from wrangling horses to fixing fences Maddie would do it, Casey made herself feel useful by cleaning the house and then holding Maddie's hand as she boxed some of Cassie's belongings up.

"I'll book some days off on holiday in a few weeks to come help finish this off." She sighed closing a box of things she was taking back to New York with her. Casey nodded in understanding and Maddie started speaking about when Alex died, she remembered boxing her things up with her Aunt and Uncle, she'd been flown home by the Army to say goodbye. She admitted she didn't remember doing that with her mother's things, she just remembered everyone saying they were sorry and telling her and her brother that they needed to look after each other.

"You never really speak about her." Casey said referring to Maddie's mother, Maddie shrugged her shoulders saying there wasn't really anything to say, her mother died, she didn't have many memories of her aside from pictures, her father remarried and had 2 more children and she had a great relationship with all her siblings and step-mother. Maddie and Hillary thought a lot of one another and had worked to keep a good relationship; she was often Maddie's first port of call in a crisis.

"Right I'm going to the airport to get Dad and Alex; you want to come with me?" Maddie announced standing up and dusting herself off, Casey shook her head saying she'd sort out some dinner for them.

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	7. Chapter 7

You and me always

Chapter 7

Alex practically threw herself at her cousin when she greeted them at the airport; the younger woman looked drained but seemed to brighten up with sight of her cousin and father.

"You ok?" Alex asked quickly doing a check of Maddie from her expression down to her posture, worried that Maddie would be doing too much and putting pressure on her bad leg.

"Getting there, thanks for coming." She said before turning to her father and giving him a hug. "Casey's cooking dinner, so let's get going."

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"How is she really?" Alex asked Casey as the two of them did the dishes whilst Geoffrey and Maddie fed the horses. Casey shrugged her shoulders saying it was hard to say, one moment she was fine the next she was broken down crying or shutting her out. "That's Maddie, I'm afraid to say. But I know it means a lot to her that you're here."

Casey stopped what she was doing and turned to face the blonde with a fierce expression. "Alex I know what you and Olivia think of me with all this but believe me when I say I love your cousin with all that I am and I intend to be with her every step of the way." Casey put the cloth she was holding down. "I over reacted with the break thing and have been kicking myself ever since, I've been crazy about her for years and as long as she's willing to put up with me I'll never leave her again."

"That's all I needed to know." Alex smiled.

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The three people in the house sat there in silence watching the concentration on Maddie's face as she buffed her shoes for the funeral. Once she was done she placed them on the floor and asked the others if they wanted theirs doing.

"Put that much pressure on mine and you'll ruin them. I can't believe how shiny they are." Casey smiled looking at them, Maddie's military training sometimes drove her mad with the neatness and compulsiveness when it came to ironing but it was part of who she was, just like her ability to remain calm in difficult situations.

"Old habits." Maddie replied with a smile.

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Casey looked closely at the medals on the uniform hung on the wardrobe, each one representing something Maddie had done before she met her, the only one she really knew about was the purple heart. The sergeant stripes stood out but felt gentle to the touch, shoes shining on the floor underneath the uniform and the hat carefully placed on the dresser. She could feel Maddie's eyes on the back of her head so she turned towards the detective.

"I thought about wearing my NYPD one but she was one of the first people I told after I'd enlisted, and one of the first who knew about the end. It seems more fitting to be Staff Sergeant rather that Detective." Maddie said sitting on the bed; she was in her pyjamas and ready to go to sleep.

"I've never seen you in military dress." Casey replied sitting next to her, she'd seen Maddie in Police Dress Uniform countless times but Staff Sergeant Madison was a sight she associated with Maddie's life before her.

"I'm just sorry for the reason you will." Maddie said allowing Casey to take hold of her hand and pull her into a hug.

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Casey showered and headed downstairs to find Maddie pacing in full Army ceremonial dress uniform. To say Casey found it a breathtaking sight was an understatement, she recalled Alex once saying that Maddie seemed to grow in uniform, that it seemed to bring out everything that made Maddie Maddie, she was right. She felt someone appear next to her and heard an intake of breath telling her it was Alex.

"What?" Maddie asked looking at the two attorneys stood on the stairs watching her; she took her hat off and placed it under her arm like she'd done a thousand times before.

"You never cease to impress me when I see you dressed up like that." Geoffrey said appearing behind Casey and Alex. "Cassie would be proud." He added and Maddie nodded before telling them all to hurry up as the car would be arriving shortly. Alex and Geoffrey saluted mockingly before hurrying to grab a coffee then finish getting dressed but Casey remained where she was.

"What?" Maddie asked again and Casey took a step closer towards her.

"You are incredible; I just wanted to tell you that." Casey replied. "I am proud to stand beside you today and every day." She gently kissed her on the lips, trying to put all her love into it so Maddie knew how she felt. " And now I'm going to finish getting ready." She smiled breaking the kiss and turning, as she was halfway up the stairs she turned to face Maddie who was watching her. "I love you, don't you forget that." She added quickly before hurrying up the remainder of the steps.

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Alex texted Olivia throughout the day saying how strong Maddie had been and that she thought it was all down to the fact that Casey hadn't left her side. As they watched the coffin being carried through the church Casey held on to Maddie's hand and didn't let go, Maddie never asked but with Casey she didn't really need to. Maddie seemed to draw strength from the people who'd turned up to support her, along with the text messages she'd received from her family in New York and friends at the 1-6. However despite the support it was clear for everyone to see that Maddie was devastated at the loss of her friend.

After the funeral the mourners went into a bar in town where stories were shared, throughout the afternoon Maddie remained silent and deep in thought, saying goodbye to Jack the 4 staying at the ranch headed back, Geoff and Alex to pack and Maddie went outside to sit on the swing with a beer.

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"Hey." Casey said taking a seat on the swing next to Maddie. "What you thinking?" She asked as Maddie handed her a cold beer.

"How much I love this place, how much Cassie did, how much I miss her." She admitted picking at the label on the brown bottle she had in her hand. "If it were just me I'd come and run this place in a heartbeat, even though I'm a city girl." She turned to face Casey. "But it's not just me, and even though we're on this strange break type thing which still meant you came here I still count us as a 'we.'" She admitted, "I still want us to be a 'we.' If losing my friend has taught me anything it's taught me to hang onto what matters while you can, of all people I know that life is fickle, you lose the people you love but what makes the difference is letting people in so they can be a part of your life. Love them while you have them. My mum was only in my life for a short time but even now I still feel her love around me, guiding me through the next phase in my life." She got down off of the seat and knelt in front of Casey. "I don't need a big fancy ceremony for me to show you how much I love you, because I really do love you. But if that's what you need and want then I'll do it, honestly I will, and without moaning. All I really want is to be married to you, so Casey," Maddie took a breath and took hold of Casey's hand; the attorney's eyes were full of tears. "I believe that you won't run away again, I believe that you love me as much as I love you, but most of all I believe that my life will be incomplete without you there with me, holding my hand as we go through our lives together." She took a breath, "Will you marry me?" she asked not breaking eye contact.

Casey was sobbing as the word yes came out of her mouth and she dropped to her knees so she was level with Maddie on the floor, Casey in her black dress and Maddie still in dress uniform, her hat resting on the side. "But there's one condition." Casey added as the pair stood up holding hands and smiling brightly.

"Anything." Maddie said although secretly dreading they go back to the wedding planner.

"We keep it simple and plan it ourselves." Casey replied delighted when Maddie's eyes lit up.

"Deal." She replied laughing as she scooped Casey up in her arms and span her round.

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	8. Chapter 8

You and me always

Chapter 8

5 months later.

Hilary watched as Alex finished off putting the finishing touches to Maddie's wedding outfit, tears were in her eyes as the woman she considered to be a daughter looked the best she'd ever done. Tara stood open mouthed looking at her big sister and Mona couldn't help but gawp at her sister in law as she held her baby daughter in her arms.

"What?" Maddie asked looking at the women in the room who were all looking at her. Nobody answered but Geoffrey walked in and simply stated that she looked amazing. "Really?" She asked and Geoffrey nodded, he also fished inside his top pocket and pulled out an envelope. "Your mother left me in the care of this and told me only to give this to you on your wedding day, I know she would have loved Casey and wanted you to be happy." He said handing her the envelope.

Maddie ran her fingers slowly across her mother's delicate handwriting before carefully opening up the envelope, out of it fell a bracelet and a note.

_My darling little girl, although by now I'm sure you're every inch a woman. The hardest part about getting ill is knowing everything that I'm going to miss seeing you do, I saw your first step, heard your first word, held your hand the first day at preschool. I have so many dreams for you, so many hopes and aspirations, but most of all I hope you're happy. I was so happy with you, your brother and father, my whole world was complete, and my wedding day was so special, knowing that I was promising to share my life with the most wonderful person I'd ever met. With all my heart I hope your day is as special as mine was, and know that I am watching over you and regretting not being there with you. On my wedding day my mother gave be the bracelet that I'm now passing onto you, I'm asking you to wear it and think of me and know that I love you, I remember her helping me get ready and placing it on my wrist. I hope you have a mother figure there to do it for you. Enjoy your special day, dance with your father and brother, remind them both that I continue to love them and you. I love you and always will. Your mother. _

Tears were falling down Maddie's cheeks as she looked towards her father and hugged him before showing him the bracelet, he remembered it from his own wedding day, he was pleased that his deceased wife was able to take part in his daughter's special day. Maddie turned to Hillary and asked her to put the bracelet on her hand, the gesture truly moving Hillary as tears came into her own eyes.

"Thank you for always being there for me." Maddie said quietly so only her step-mother could hear.

"It has been my pleasure. I love you honey." Hillary said through her tears and she pulled her step daughter in for a final hug.

"So Alex what do you think?" Maddie asked turning to face her cousin who was her maid of honour.

"I think you've never looked happier or more beautiful, and Casey's going to think the same." Alex smiled.

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This was how it was meant to be, a simple ceremony surrounded by those they loved. After getting back to New York and returning to work Casey hatched a plan and sounded out Alex to get her perspective on it before she spoke to Maddie. Alex fell in love with the idea and knew straight away Maddie would too. So there 4 months later it was falling into place. Casey stood anxiously waiting for her time to go down the aisle, her father proudly at her side and Olivia there as a bridesmaid along with her sister in law.

"Ready pumpkin?" Her father asked as the music started, she nodded taking his arm as they entered the barn.

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Casey decided she wanted to be the first one to walk down the aisle purely so she could watch Maddie walk into the room; her heart was pounding as she reached the top with her father who kissed her before sitting down. Then the music changed, Casey span around to look at the door and tears filled her eyes as Maddie appeared with her own father. The pair locked onto each other as Maddie made her way to stand beside her for their wedding ceremony, Maddie smiled as the minister started speaking.

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The toasts were done, the meal had been eaten, both fathers had delivered tear inducing speeches and danced with their daughters. And now it was all over, the Madison-Novak family were complete and ready for their honeymoon. Maddie looked down at her ring finger and smiled taking hold of Casey's hand.

"Thank you for making today so special." Maddie said pulling Casey into her arms, it meant everything to her knowing that Casey picked the perfect venue for the wedding, Cassie's ranch. The barn was the perfect size to hold both a ceremony and a reception and uncle Jack was all for the idea, he knew Cassie would have loved it too.

"I know this might sound cheesy but every day with you is special for me." Casey smiled making Maddie laugh.

"Well, I promise to make every day we have together special, wherever we go from here we go as a pair, just you and me always." Maddie kissed Casey softly as their flight was called and they boarded the plane for their next adventure.

THE END


End file.
